


The Party You Have Dialed is Not Available

by shadydave



Category: Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Gen, I don't see how that's a party, Iron Man 3 Spoilers, Science Bros, Voicemail
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-07
Updated: 2013-05-07
Packaged: 2017-12-10 18:03:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/788565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shadydave/pseuds/shadydave
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>LIBRAFLYTER: I'm going to assume Bruce was out chilling in upstate New York or wherever and doesn't even find this stuff out until after he emerges from his hermitage to, like, a thousand voicemails.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Party You Have Dialed is Not Available

::BEEP!::

"Hi, Bruce! I'm not dead."

::BEEP!::

“Why don’t any of you people pick up your phones???”

::BEEP!::

"Bruce, how do I Tennessee?"

::BEEP!::

"Do you know anything about kids?"

::BEEP!::

"Or breaking into terrorist compounds?"

::BEEP!::

“Just to be clear, it’s not _my_ kid, I just found him hanging around.”

::BEEP!::

“Oh, and it’s not my terrorist compound either.”

::BEEP!::

"Hiya, big guy. On my way to Miami. Just thought I'd say hi.”

::BEEP!::

“So I was thinking: if I could calibrate an EMP to generate an electron avalanche, would you WHOA THERE GRANNY, PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO DRIVE HERE I’ll call you back.”

::BEEP!::

“TRAMPS LIKE US, BABY WE WERE BOOOORN TO RUUUUUUUUUUUUUN.”

::BEEP!::

"Still on the road. I'm bored."

::BEEP!::

" _Booooooooored_."

::BEEP!::

"OH GOD AM I THERE YET."

::BEEP!::

"THE PICK-UP ON THAT SUBARU IS CAUSING ME _ACTUAL PAIN_ , HOW DO PEOPLE LIVE LIKE THIS."

::BEEP!::

"IF YOU CAN FIGURE OUT SOME WAY TO GET ME TO HULK OUT JUST ONCE SO I CAN PUNCH I-75 IN THE FACE I WILL PAY YOU ROYALTIES."

::BEEP!::

"Hey, buddy! The Miami trip was a success. Also, maybe you shouldn't watch the news for the next, uh. Year. Catch you later!"

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[podfic] The Party You Have Dialed is Not Available](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5758369) by [reena_jenkins](https://archiveofourown.org/users/reena_jenkins/pseuds/reena_jenkins), [shadydave](https://archiveofourown.org/users/shadydave/pseuds/shadydave)




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